In one of my last coaching session we came across a wonderfull example how we create the world with our thoughts. How we see other people especially our partner. And how the objective identical behaviour leads to different judgements in different situations.

The objective behaviour could be "being calm, doing everything at their own pace". Depending on the situation we encounter this behaviour will be judged as either "deeply relaxed, giving me strenght" oder "slow, annoying". The thing is - the other person is doing exactly the same as he is always doing. He just is himself and lives his life at his own pace. What's the difference? The thoughts! The thoughts and the feelings that arise from those thoughts. You might think something like "wow, he is so calm although around him there's just chaos. that really helps me to stay calmer too". Or you might think "WTF is wrong with him? Can't he just hurry up once? I really want to go now or I will be late!" You see - it's all about what is going on in our heads. And not about what the other person is doing as the way he is doing things hasn't changed. One time we judge it as good the other as bad. But it's just made up. Nothing of that is happening. What is happening is just happening. Nothing else...

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