...that you wish to see in the world. (Mahatma Gandi)
A beautiful quote probably everybody knows.
It's so simple but also so powerful. One of those sentences that can literally change the world. If everybody lived by it. Why? Most times we wish for something to change in the outside so that we can be happy, kinder, more relaxed. We want our partners to change, our job, our home, the weather, the traffic. But - there is one huge problem:
>If we ourselves are unwilling to change - why should someone else?<
Honestly - only we and really only we can change ourselves. Everybody living in a long term relationship or having lived in one knows from experience that the other person never changed or only when she saw any benefits in chaning. The amount of influence we have on that - nicely put - not very much.
But imagine if every single person on this planet lived the way Gandi suggests. And really honestly. I believe the world could only be a peaceful place. Because if I'm serious about it I instantly have to stop trying to change or conviince other people. The only thing I'm allowed to do is to see what I think and do. And everytime I do something I have to check I don't do it because I want to make someone else do or believe something. Because if I did - I wouldn't be only try to change myself.
I want my partner to be more attentive? I should start. Unconditionally. Be attentive to myself - and towards him. My job is annoying? Am I really putting everything I have into it? Unconditionally? Without expecting praise or money in return? (And no - working overtime and saying yes to everything doesn't mean that I put everything in. Sometimes a "no" is more loving than a "yes"). Someone cut you off when driving? Is it really so helpful to shout and scream when the other person can't hear you? The weather sucks? Remember the thing about right clothes? ;-)
So many times we are not very kind to ourselves. We eat food we know is not good for us. We sit around all day. We don't spend time in nature. We don't enjoy some time alone. But we expect others and the world that they please be kind. Start now. With yourself. :-) You'll see - bit by bit the world will be a better place.