In my last meditation course – as we were just talking about how we don’t have stress but make it up – there was a question about cleaning the house:
Everyone knows a scenario like this or similar. It can be cleaning your piled up desk or a big project you want to finish. You really planned to get it done but than you just stand or sit and can’t move a finger. And your thoughts start to go crazy „Where should I begin?“, „It’s just too much“, „I’ll never get it done“, „I’m too stupid“ – which makes you feel overwhelmed. Or „Why is it always me?“, „XY could also think about that“, „And I’m the idiot doing…“ – which makes you feel really angry.
For someone watching from outside the situation is clear: 1. It’s just not that much to do 2. Just start with A and than do B 3. It’s not always us
And actually everyone knows that and knows how to deal with stuff. It’s just when we label something as „important“ we start to tell a story around what we are up to. Why it is important. Why we can’t fail. What other people think about us. Why we have to do it. It starts with the dinasours and ends with our grandchildren. And it’s only this story that takes our energy. We are so busy talking to ourselves that we don’t have energy left to actually do something. And all those feelings that come with the story also take our energy.
The solution: See it! Take an honest look and see it’s just a story you make up. Ask yourself if all those things you’re telling yourself are really really true. I mean REALLY! So you think the other person might think bad off you if you don’t clean up. Maybe. You can’t control what other people think. It might also be the other way round because they get suspioucious when it’s too clean. But it’s not really what the other person might or might not think. It’s your conclusion about it. „If they think that I’m not a nice person they don’t want to hang out with me anymore and I’m all alone“. That’s what you are afraid of – rejection. So look at it. Is it really true that you will be ALL alone?
And as soon as you see this story and that is has nothing to do with cleaning but with a fear of rejection you can let it go. And than you are free to do what you decide to do. Which may be relaxing on the couch – but not because you were immobilized but you decide it’s not so important to clean up.
Leave a comment to tell your stories for others to learn.