This morning I had an insight. Suddenly and totally unexpected. And I have no idea why. And also I have no idea why I didn't see that before. You know - all the time I knew that it was just a thought bugging me. But it felt so real! What happened? We have two cats and one of them needs medication twice a day. She is having problems with her thyroid. In the morning it's my turn to make sure she takes the pill. In the evening it's my husband's turn. And just in case you don't know what it means to have to give a cat a pill read this (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC372253/). Luckily our cat isn't that bad. You just have to hide the pill inside some treats and she takes it. Just sometimes she somehow manages to spit it out when my husband is trying to give it to her. And the next morning when I find the pill lying somewhere I get really upset about it. Because the cat needs the pill.

So this morning when just giving her the treats I suddenly think: "It's really no big deal if she doesn't swallow the stupid pill one time. Why are you so upset about it?" And it really isn't a big deal. The cat was very happy without the pills for several weeks before we realized something was wrong with her. It didn't kill her instantly. She is just very slim now. I realized that I myself was making it a big deal. Not my husband, not my cat. Just me believing the thoughts. And than I wondered how it was possible that I didn't see that before. And herein lies the magic...

You can only see what you see at the time you see it. And as long as you don't see - there is no use in beating yourself up. For whatever reason in that particular moment I was open for a new thought. Rally open and I really got it. Not just theorie but really, really got it. The point is - you can't make yourself see something. It just happens. The only thing you can do is stay open. Look in the direction and hopefully the day will come that you see. And until that day - just be kind to yourself.

In one of my last coaching session we came across a wonderfull example how we create the world with our thoughts. How we see other people especially our partner. And how the objective identical behaviour leads to different judgements in different situations.

The objective behaviour could be "being calm, doing everything at their own pace". Depending on the situation we encounter this behaviour will be judged as either "deeply relaxed, giving me strenght" oder "slow, annoying". The thing is - the other person is doing exactly the same as he is always doing. He just is himself and lives his life at his own pace. What's the difference? The thoughts! The thoughts and the feelings that arise from those thoughts. You might think something like "wow, he is so calm although around him there's just chaos. that really helps me to stay calmer too". Or you might think "WTF is wrong with him? Can't he just hurry up once? I really want to go now or I will be late!" You see - it's all about what is going on in our heads. And not about what the other person is doing as the way he is doing things hasn't changed. One time we judge it as good the other as bad. But it's just made up. Nothing of that is happening. What is happening is just happening. Nothing else...

Every Blog-Article I write is a tightrope walk. Because I try to describe and find words for something which is kind of undescribable. Whatever you say - it's just not quite right. It's something you can only experience. And how do you know you really got it? Well - by describing it back. And by the way this happens you get the idea. But no garanties made :-)

It's a bit like that:

I see a hot-air balloon in the sky and want to show it to my little daughter. She has never seen one before so she doesn't know what I'm talking about. When I say "look - a hot-air balloon" she will look everywhere as she has no idea where to look. So I tell her to look at the sky. She will look at the sky. But she still doesn't see it. Maybe she is distracted by birds or clouds. I explain to her in more detail what a hot-air balloon is. Like a normal balloon just a lot bigger. Though it doesn't look so big as it is high up in the sky. I show her again what direction to look and what colour to look for. Probably she'll see it now. After that it might happen that she thinks she saw one and wants to show me. And when I look I see that she saw something else. Something similar to a hot-air balloon. So I will explain the difference. And the next time we see a hot-air balloon I might need to explain it again. Because she doesn't remember. But after enough times we saw one she knows what I'm talking about. And she'll find it instantly. And one day we might have the chance to see one still on ground and get an even closer look. Than I can explain more details to her. Like how the air gets warmed and all that kind of stuff. And from that point on she'll know even better what a hot-air balloon is.

When I talk about the stillness inside of us it's the same. I show you the direction. I explain what it feels like, what it means. But first you don't really know what I'm talking about. It's just a concept. An idea. And one day this idea becomes alive. You experience the stillness for yourself. And everything is different. You can now describe it with your own words. And next time it will be a lot easier to see it. And every time you experience it your understanding grows and it gets easier to see it.

All the time we talk about that something is "normal". It's "normal" that

  • there is so much to do and we are so sressed
  • we eat to fast and unhealthy
  • we don't have time to just be
  • we love rarely
  • wir don't experience much joy
  • ...

Maybe in our times it is "normal". But is it also "natural"? With natural I mean - is this our natural state of being? Or is there another way? To answer this question imagine small kids between age 0 and 2 - above this age the conditioning we call "education" already starts to take its hold.

But small kids are

  • totally relaxed and enjoy every moment (except they hurt, are hungry or tired)
  • they only eat when they are hungry and what they like. And if the get the possibility the eat healthy (there are studies proving that)
  • they are fascinated by small things and can watch them for ever (bugs, butterflies, how the river flows)
  • they are always laughing
  • they are having fun all day long
  • ...

THAT is our natural state of being. And we still have it in us. We just have to release it.