Not quite planned I'm participating in Michael Neills "Creating the impossible" this year (https://www.michaelneill.org/cti/). The programme is supposed to help you create the impossible which means that you have 90 days to achieve something that has less than 20% chance to be achievable in this timeframe. So from the beginning the programme is designed that you probably will fail.

Every week has an additional them. Last week the theme was "failure". The goal was to count 1000 failures.

Wow! 1000 times failing. That sounded like something! But after two days I realized that I had fun failing. I have to confess that I didn't count very seriously. But the tasks made me look differently at my life and I realized how often I actually fail. And even without really noticing. Ant not at all being interested in how some things turn out. Just as an example last Wendesday. That day really started with nothing but failures.

  1. As my alarm went off at 5:35 am I was so tired that I just turned it off and slept on.
  2. The next alarm at 5:45 wasn't ignored but instead of getting up and doing my morning Yoga I just stayed in bed (at least I meditated)
  3. After finally getting up it took me 4 times till the cat decided to actually eat her pill (three failures at once)

None of this failures made me feel bad or think I'm a bad person or something like that. It's just what happens in life. Sometimes or plans work out sometimes they don't. That's why I think she should really stop measuring ourselves and our lives by what we "achieve" and not. Mostly it's even not up to us. I know you could argue that failing in giving a cat a pill is not really important. But viewed from the cat it is. It needs this pill twice a day.

Most of us give way too much credit to other people (media, parents, friends) telling us what's a failure and what's success. And if our lifes don't look the way we think they are supposed to we feel like the biggest looser. Just because we can't keep up with some actually arbitraty criteria. I think it's time for something different. From my point of view the postman who loves his job and is always kind and helpful and also just enjoys life is living a very successful life. I advocade more courage of failure and more joy in life.

We create the world we live in through our expectations and beliefs. We aquired those during all of our life. From our partens, grandparents, friends, teachers, media. The younger a child the less judgemental it is. It’s not expacting anything and is fascinated by everything around. The process of aquiring is a slow one. And not everything about it is bad. It’s good to expact things will break when they fall to the ground. Ort hat I might be hit by a car if I cross the street without looking. For this reason I usally don’t use the words good/bad to qualify beliefs. I prefer helpful/unhelpful. And all those expacations helpful and unhelpful create our worldview. And depending on your type of worldview you will have corresponding thoughts. For example if you believe the world to be a dangerous place and people are always out to get you – that will be mirrored in the kind of thoughts you have. And in the context of this worldview it’s very usefull to becareful around people. Or to buy a bag which can’t be cut for travel. But in this kind of view makes you be in constant alert which is not very healthy for your body. Another example: If I think the cause for my headache can only be some event in my childhood I might not consider changing my pillow. It’s quite common to judge certain thoughts as bad and want to do something about them. They cause stress and you need to get rid of them. But first – you can’t control your thoughts (I wrote about that a few times) and second – it’s not neccessary. It’s way more effective to change the way you see the world. Because than that kind of thought just doesn’t make sense anymore and you won’t listen to it. One moment where you see that the world just is what you are making up and that has nothing to do with reality can be enough. One moment where you see it’s a creation of your imagination. You will see the world with new eyes – and new thoughts can come in. Maybe more helpful than the ones

Let’s be hones. For most of us the time before Christmas is not very peaceful and contemplative. It is filled with what feels like thousand appointments we have to attend and millions of things we have to do.

Have to? Who is making us? Yes, I want my kid to have presents at Christmas. But does it have to be five? Wouldn’t one or two well selected be enough? And who says that my partner and my friends have to have presents too? Just to think about ? And just because I’m invited to the Christmas party doesn’t mean I actually have to go. I can skip one or the other.

But the real reason why we are so stressed out is that we permanently think about all the stuff we still have to do and where we have to go. Even if I’m not actually doing it or going there. An example: I know I want to pre-order the meat for our Christmas meal. This stressed out feelings comes because I think about calling the butcher when I wake up in the morning, when I’m having breakfast, when commuting to work, when having lunch at work,… but I’m not actually doing it. Just thinking about it all the time. Easiest for me is to consider when would actually be a good time to really make the call. And put an appointment in my calender which reminds me of doing it than. Out of my head, no need to think about it any more. Because all the thinking I was doing was just to make sure I won’t forget it. But it keeps coming into my head when I can’t really do it – like 6 am in the morning when there is nobody there I could call. And it’s quite similiar with most of the things.

Yes – before Christmas there are a few things to be done we normally don’t need to do. But they are not the cause for feeling stressed. But our constant thinking about them. And as soon as I see this I can come up with ideas that help me stop doing this additional thinking. And enjoy this special time before Christmas.

With this said – have a peaceful Christmas time.

Maybe other people have experienced the same. When I started meditating and got my first insights into the nature of mind and how we create our reality via thought I was thrilled. I thought „now everything is going to change and will be better“. Well yes and no. It got better but it wasn’t that I didn’t experience times when I totally lost it and was so in my head that I felt nothing has changed. I still got frustrated, angry, disappointed. Somehow I had thought that when I understand how it works, those feelings would be past.

But I am human. And nowadays I believe we are not meant to be permanantly aware that we are thinking and feeling. Imagine you are at the movies and instead of feeling with the characters you just watch it without getting involved. That wouldn’t be much fun – would it? We go to the movie to engage with the story presented on the screen. We want to feel happy, angry, frustrated, nervous whatsoever the character happens to experience. And it’s the same in life. Imagine watching yourself kissing your partner or having a bubble bath instead of just feeling it. That would be awkward. You can try it yourself if you don’t believe it. It happened to me accidentally and it really felt weird. I don’t want that for sure! When I kissmy partner I just want to be kissing my partner and not watching myself doing it.

That means that I don’t have to beat myself up when I realize that I haven’t been aware. That I lost it and got really angry, frustrated, whatsoever. I will wake up to it at some moment. And than I will have a choice how to proceed further.

Maybe following helps further: Do you think you will never ever let something drop just because you understand how gravity works? Don’t think so either. So just because I understand something doesn’t mean that I can control it. But understanding makes my life a whole lot easier.